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Wednesday April 11, 2012:

I spotted a deal on Selloffvactions.com that I couldn't refuse. It was a 7 day all inclusive trip to the Don Lino Resort near Santa Lucia, Cuba. The return flight plus taxes was $279.00. The hotel, all meals, drinks and liquor, activities, free daily horseback riding and bicycles was $30.00 plus a $7.00 single supplement. That was a grand total of $316.00. Basically, they were paying me to go.

Finished work at 5:00, ate at Subway. I picked up Jessica, a Queen's student who applied to my ad for a ride to Toronto for $20.00. We left Kingston at 6:00 and I dropped her off at Toronto's Scarborough Mall at 8:30. Since my flight didn't leave until 6:30 a.m., I had some time to spare so I wandered around the mall and eventually went to the late movie and saw "21 Jump Street". It was entertaining and ended at midnight. I drove over to Skypark and paid my $67.47 for a week's worth of parking. They shuttled me to the Pearson Airport where I immediately found a restaurant that was closed for the night. However, their enclosed patio which looked out onto the airport was accessible. This was perfect! It had a table with a padded wrap around seat. I set up shop there, set my alarm for 4:00 and placed it on the table. Then I played my ukulele until I was tired. I blew up my portable airline pillow and tucked myself in for a nice comfortable sleep.

Thursday April 12, 2012:

My alarm woke me from a sound sleep. The line-up for my CanJet flight was directly in front so that was very convenient. Customs was a breeze. I read to pass the time until boarding. My flight was excellent - good meal and plenty of legroom plus I got the window seat I requested. No one mentioned that my carry-on bag was a little larger than regulation (because of my ukulele) and I was able to put it under my seat with no problems. At Holguin, the bus was waiting for myself, Anna, her mother and three triplets and Greg. Greg apparently took the wrong bus so we left without him. The one hour bus ride was quite comfortable. Arrived at the Don Lino resort at 12:30. I requested the best room closest to the beach. I was told that if I wanted their best room, then I would have to wait an hour as it hadn't been cleaned yet. I went for it. After all, I'm a man of leisure and have all the time in the world. I left my bags in their secure locked area and checked out the buffet lunch. It was excellent. My room still wasn't ready so I went for a walk to the left of the beach. I went about a mile or so until I could see Playa Blanca then headed back. Hard walking on the coral.

My room still wasn't ready - I think they forgot about me. They apologized and got it done right away. It really was the best room on the resort. I was less than 50 feet from the beach. My safe didn't work so I was offered another room but I declined and locked my wallet in my suitcase for the week. After unpacking and settling in, I walked to the right, off the resort and to a gated area. I asked the guard at the gate if I could enter and take a look around. He came out with a machine gun and said, "No!". Being Mr. Magoo, I hadn't noticed the Military Installation signs. Apparently that was a special resort for army personnel. Adjacent to the resort, is a very nice beach open to the public. I returned to my resort, drank pina coladas by the pool, read and swam. One of the complaints I read about this resort was that the pool was too small. It was perfect…true, it wasn't as large as some of the other resorts, but do you really need a pool ten miles long? I think not. Later, I played my ukulele then went to the main lobby and played pool for an hour. They have a nice table with "all" the balls, chalk and two good pool cues. It was available at all times. Other resorts I've been to, you can only get the equipment at certain times and usually there are balls missing and the cues are warped, so this was a bonus.

Tonight's entertainment was a six man band…accordion, two guitar players, bass, drums, shaker/singer. They were excellent! I returned to my room to watch the two English channels available on Satellite tv. One was news and the other was the 24 hour disaster channel. Crawled into my king sized bed and retired for the evening.

Friday April 13, 2012:

Got up and had a hot shower. Another bonus…this resort has solar heaters behind each unit so hot water was not an issue here. Went for a good buffet breakfast at 8:00 and had the omelet chef prepare me my custom eggs. I decided to borrow one of the bicycles. I found the attendant working on one of the bikes. I held it for him while he adjusted the brakes and seat. After fifteen minutes, it seemed to meet his approval. He jumped on and rode off into the distance. Apparently, he wasn't the attendant, but one of the guests. I tracked down the bicycle girl and she got me a nice bike. Most resorts you can only use the bikes for one hour a day. At this one, you could pick one up in the morning and bring it back at 5:00 (sometimes I kept them until 7 or 8 at night and no one seemed to care). I went for a small tour, then left it in my room and went for a swim until my 11:30 tour rep seminar. I talked with Anna and her triplets from Toronto while waiting. The tour rep from Nolitours was very good and informative. Later, I played a few games of pool. At one point I played with Mr. Creepy Pants…a resident drunk who mumbles to himself. I'm sure everyone at the resort would know who I meant. He wandered off halfway through the game. I took that opportunity to go for the buffet lunch which was very good again.

I biked to Playa Blanca village which is only about a km away by the only road…although somehow I got lost and disoriented. It has a very nice beach. There was nobody there so I went swimming for an hour. I saw 4 people at the far end of the beach. They sent one person to check me out. He walked up the deserted beach and "accidently" fell into the water where I was swimming. Not too obvious. Anyway, we got talking and he told me him and his friends were gay Cuban entertainment dancers. Anna and her triplets showed up and saved me.

Later, I jumped back on my steed and headed through the village to the left past a huge monument and then followed some trails past a small harbor full of little fishing boats. The countryside reminded me of the old western, Bonanza. I followed some dirt trails, at one point meeting a horse and buggy and another time going through a farmers yard by his well. After about two miles I came out on the main road and biked about another two miles back to the resort. I took all kinds of trails…I was everywhere.

When I got back to my room, I realized my key was missing. I should have known better than to keep it in my pocket. The staff was very nice about it but apparently it was the only key. I borrowed the maid's key for the rest of the week. She would catch me, or not, to clean my room. I didn't really need maid service every day anyway.

I played a few more games of pool and went for a walk along the beach to the right and to the next beach. Quite a scenic area. I went for another bike ride then returned it. Tonight's entertainment was last night's band again. It turned out they were the entertainment for the full week I was there. I didn't mind at all as they were very good. Rick, from Windsor, made it a point to take up a collection for them each night. I thought that was excellent on his part, and the band definitely appreciated it. Unfortunately, I was unable to contribute as despite my trying every day, the hotel was never able to exchange my money due to lack of funds.

Saturday April 14, 2012:

Got up and had my usual hot shower then went for a great breakfast. There is free horseback riding every day so I decided to take advantage of that at 10:00. There were just four of us and the guide. Robert & his wife Marie Jose, myself and another Robert Lavallee all from Quebec. Once I was mounted on "Gluestick", my nag, Robert L. offered to take some photos of me which was very nice. The five of us set off down the paved road to Playa Blanca. It was rough going. Robert #1 was having a tough time and bouncing over a foot in the air. I heard him moan, "I wish I'd brought a jockstrap". Marie Jose did very well so I copied her style and made out all right. At the beach we road through the town following some of my bicycle trails from yesterday and eventually ended up back at the resort. Robert #1 was walking funny. He looked at me and said, "I need a massage". I replied, "Well, don't look at me". That got everyone laughing. Talked with Robert L. for a while. We had a lot in common as he is a music teacher.

Played some pool and relaxed with some pina coladas. At 6:55 I found one of the bikes hadn't been locked up so I stole it and went in search of the fabled shortcut to Playa Blanca. I figured there must be a back entrance and I was right. I found a farmer's gate, unlatched it and made my way past some baffled bulls and eventually found the right trail and ended up in Playa Blanca. I had been told the day before that you could no longer use the trail. Wrong!! Chatted with a Cuban and his 49 Ford on the beach then returned home for supper. Yesterday's band was back from 9-10:30 and were consistently excellent. I had my own dog. He crawled under my table and made sure I patted him all night…otherwise he would moan, much like the dog I used to have. Mr. Creepy pants crept around doing odd things in his slow motion way. I'm amused, I have a dog, a place to sleep and something to eat and drink. Life is good.

Sunday April 15, 2012:

This morning after breakfast, I put in my contacts and snorkeled the whole beach. It's a little tricky getting in as there is a ridge of corral all along the shore. You don't want to fall as it's also home to a large family of spiky sea urchins. I had a good time exploring the sea floor and watching fish. Talked to Jaime and Sandra from Barrie for half an hour then played some more pool until lunchtime. Later I swam in the pool and read. Borrowed a bike again and headed down the road to Santa Lucia but instead of taking the right turn, I went straight down a dirt road for about 6 miles. I met a toothless old lady and asked her if there was a beach nearby. She agreed that there was. I asked her in Spanish if it was about a kilometer away. She said, "Sure". About 3 km later, the road ended at a seven foot high fence with a padlock. I could see what looked like an abandoned resort on the other side with a beach. I decided I had come this far so I was getting in one way or the other. I tossed my towel and snorkeling equipment through a hole in the fence and was attempting to climb through after them when a guard appeared. "This can't be good", thought I. But I was wrong…the guard was very friendly. He opened the padlock and invited me in, saying that this was a resort for government employees only, but was not in use at the moment. I shared my water bottle with him and gave him a spare cap that I had and he told me to go on in and use the beach. It was a very nice beach so I swam for forty minutes or so before heading back against a strong wind. A young teenager stopped me to give me a shell present. She was very nice but I had nothing to give her in return. I gave her back her shell telling her that I wouldn't be allowed to take it on the plane. She wanted me to meet her parents but since I had nothing to offer them I declined. Everyone in this area is very friendly.

Back home, I relaxed in my lawn chair in front of my room and read for a while. Played some more pool and had supper then hung around with Jamie and Sandra. The three of us went to the bar and watched the musician's again. My dog ignored me tonight. Everything is very close to my room. The bar is 30 seconds away, the pool is just beyond the bar, the beach is at my door and the main lobby is probably about a minute walk. I think I may have been stung by a small jellyfish at my last beach as I had several burning red marks on my arm. Back at my room I played my ukulele then watched the 24 hour disaster channel and went to bed.

Monday April 16, 2012:

Got up, played the uke for a while and had breakfast. I borrowed a bike and filled my water bottle with orange juice from the restaurant. Usually I fill it with slushy from the bar, but it wasn't open yet. I calculated it would take me 35 minutes to bike 8 km to Santa Lucia…and that's exactly what it took. I toured the town then biked back…another 35 minutes. It's a little windy in spots and there are some pretty good hills. On the way back I took a shortcut through a farm and down the trail I was on before. It was a good ½ kilometer downhill which was very nice.

I laid out on the beach and tanned for a while then I took the bike to Playa Blanca and searched for my hotel keys but no luck. I had my snorkeling equipment with me so I tried that but it was too rough today. However, it was nice for floating around which I did for about an hour. Back at my room I read and watched the disaster channel. After supper, I ran into Greg. He said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?". "No…go ahead", I replied. He wanted to know if I was a priest because I was so calm, one with nature and pure like an angel. That cracked me up. I assured him that I was not a priest. He mentioned that Ana's twins called him "Uncle Greg" and did not seem too amused by this. As I was leaving, I said, "Sorry, I've forgotten your name, is it Uncle Greg?". He growled at me.

Went for a night walk and ended up in the lobby with Sandra and Jamie. We sipped margueritas for an hour then I joined Clarence and Lori at the other bar to watch the usual musicians. Clarence could barely stand when he left. I talked to Robert and his wife Marie…not to be confused with Robert and his wife Marie Jose. It's a unique resort in that it's quite small and intimate so you get to know almost everyone, and I lucked out as there seemed to be a very high percentage of very nice people.

Tuesday April 17, 2012:

Tried unsuccessfully to change some money at the lobby but they were still out of money. I didn't really need any, just that I was told that the airport bank is sometimes closed and you can't leave Cuba without paying the $25 departure tax. Talked to Lori. Apparently, Clarence was still in bed not feeling well today - no surprise!! I ran into my friend, made the sign of the cross and said, "Hi, Uncle Greg". He growled at me again.

Today I mostly relaxed…much like I did every other day. Read, laid out by the pool, and watched the disaster channel. At the lobby I had the bartender make me a bloody mary. While he was adding salt to it, the lid came off and spilled about 10 tablespoons into my drink. I told him I would like a side order of 30 glasses of water to go with it. He remade it and it was pretty good. Unlike other resorts I've been to, most of the drinks they made were quite good. I drank in the lobby with Jamie and Sandra.

Ran into Clarence and asked how he was doing. He said he was feeling much better and that it "must have been the soup he ate". Somehow I was able to keep a straight face.

Supper was excellent! Tonight's favourite vegetable was brussel sprouts with butter. Most days they usually have guayava and papaya which I grew up on when I lived in Mexico as a toddler.

Later on, I went to the other bar to watch the musicians again. Sat with Robert and Marie and we talked music all night. Elene from Montreal also joined us. As I was leaving Robert and Marie Jose yelled "Salud, David!!" I feel like Norm from the tv series, "Cheers".

Wednesday April 18, 2012:

After another great breakfast, I went to the lobby to purchase the $12.00 lobster dinner my representative told me about. I thought I would treat myself. Also, I figured if I purchased this…somehow they would have to change some of my money. I played a few games of pool while the clerk made arrangements. Eventually, I was called to pay. The price had now mysteriously gone to $19.00. I decided to pass. I laid out on the beach with Elene until Susan invited us to go snorkeling at her end of the beach. I invited Sandra and Jamie as well so we snorkeled around. It was Susan's first time so I helped her out a bit. Sandra and Jamie wanted to snorkel on the other side of the reef. I followed them. We had to walk over the reef first, which was difficult because of the breakers. Once we got over it was very nice. We snorkeled from one end of the beach to the other. It's a little scarier being on the ocean side of the reef but there's a lot more to see…colourful fish, plant life, sharks etc.

After lunch I talked with Rick and Marge from Windsor then I biked to Playa Blanca and swam for an hour. From there, I biked to the military beach next door and swam with Anna and her triplets. Very nice beach as well. Back at the resort, I ran into Susan, Elene and Yves. They were biking to Playa Blanca so I tagged along. We stopped at the monument outside of the beach town. This time, I noticed there was a plaque. I had missed it before as it was facing the ocean? It turned out to be the spot where Christopher Columbus first landed. I found that fascinating. We swam at Playa Blanca for an hour then biked back home.

Later, I biked back yet again to take some sunset pictures.

Supper tonight was turkey. Hmmm…good! The band was excellent again and afterwards, as per usual, they wound their way through the crowd shaking everyone's hands and thanking them for listening. I said goodbye to all my friends then went home and packed. I played the ukulele then settled in for my last night with the disaster channel.

Thursday April 19, 2012:

Got up at 6:30 as supposedly our bus left at 7:30. I hung around the lobby chatting with my friends and playing pool. Just as I was getting on the 8:30 bus, the lobby manager called me over to say I owed them money for the room key I lost. I explained that I had no money. He said that either I paid or I would not be leaving Cuba. Tempting as that was…I told him I would be happy to pay if he would exchange my money. He worked it all out and I ended up having to pay $35 Cdn. That was more than I paid for the resort for the whole week! But it was my own fault so I accepted it.

I managed to cash $40 Cdn for $38.75 CUC. I paid my $25.00 CUC departure tax. The baggage line at the airport was terrible. It was so slow there was no time to shop once we got through…but I still managed to buy my two bottles of liquor for $12.75 CUC leaving me $0.25 CUC. The CanJet flight left on time at 11:30 and I got my window seat again with no one in the middle so I had lots of room. Good meal, but I slept through the movie. Arrived in Toronto at 3:30 and went through customs with no problem. I spotted my young friend with a young woman. I ran up and yelled, "Uncle Greg"!! It was then I realized it wasn't him. His girlfriend looked at him and said in a puzzled tone, "Uncle Greg???!!" I ran away before she could question me. I called Skypark toll free and they picked me up within 15 minutes. My car was ready and running for me. I left immediately and was on the 401 by 4:30. By 5:30 I had only gone 47 km…rush hour!! Finally the traffic cleared up and I drove straight to Wilton arriving at 7:55 for my weekly "Banned" practice. It was like I had never left.